Anger leads to pain
by kukka
Summary: Ryan has to learn how to deal with his problems. Starts after 3x07 The anger managment and goes AU from there.
1. Chapter 1

Titel: Anger leads to pain, pt. 1?

Author: Kukka

Pairing: Ryan/The Cohens

Rating: FRC (G )

Summary: Ryan needs to learn how to deal with his problems…

(actually I have no idea were this will lead)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Josh Schwartz..I just like to play with it.

But I give it all back once I'm done.

AN: All faults in this are mine and only mine…hope there're not too many.

I felt like it actually is something, resembled to the english language keeps fingers crossed.

Chapter 1 

Kirsten was standing by the window in the kitchen with worry written all over her face.

She thought that Sandy had a good idea, giving Ryan the old punching bag,

but today her foster son was working on it with such a force, that she couldn't help but to wonder

what was running through his mind.

Part of her wanted to know, wanted to find a way to help him, to make him open up and talk

but the other part of her was afraid to find out whatever it was, that had enough power over the blond young man, to make him react the way he did.

She once again thought of Sandy and how easily it sometimes seemed to him,

to get the kid to talk.

He did understand Ryan better than she did, as least she thought so.

But this time she couldn't relie on her husband, he was busy running the Newport Group and organizing everything regarding the new Hospital. And due to that, rarely ever home.

This time, she had to be the one to talk to Ryan, to make him talk…or maybe she could ask Seth…no,

not good...don't ever ask your child to do what should be your responsibility, she thought to herself.

With a sigh she started the coffee-mashine, waited until it was done, filled two cups and started to walk towards the Poolhouse.

Ryan was clinging to the punching bag, clearly out of breath.

He didn't hear Kirsten knocking, so even her quiet _"Hey, Ryan"_ startled him and he jumped in surprise.

She walked over to him and was about to hand him one of the steaming cups, when he raised up his hand with a whispered _"Excuse me"_ and rushed to the bathroom.

Now Kirsten was really worried about him.

She placed both cups on the table and slowly followed him to the bathroom door.

She tried the doorhandle.

It wasn't locked but she decided to stay outside.

"_Ryan ? Sweety are you ok ?"_ she asked in a calm voice.

She could hear water running but it didn't help to tune out the retching sound.

After a short pause came a _"Yeah, I'm fine. Just getting cleaned up"_ in response.

Not long after that, the water stopped running and Ryan opened the door, only to be met

by Kirstens concerned face.

He walked over to his bed and sat down heavily, trying to shield his bruised knuckles

from her searching eyes.

She shouldn't have to deal with his frustration, his anger about oh so many things.

She shouldn't have to see what he did to himself.

But apparently it was too late, because Kirsten suddenly was beside him taking his left hand

into her own…ignoring his flinch at the sudden touch.

"_There are gloves over there, you know?",_ she asked as she was searching his eyes and pointed over

to the table, that was loaded with books and lots of papers from school.

Ryan had his eyes directed to the floor and didn't look up after she spoke.

He only muttered _"Isn't as much fun, when there are gloves involved"._

Finally Kirsten let go of his hand and stood up. She reached for the cups and handed one to Ryan.

"_Here, it's still warm."_ She said with a smile _"Do you mind if I sit with you for a while ? We don't have to talk, I just want to sit here with you"_ she added.

He looked up, feeling her eyes on him and said _"It's your house. Do whatever you want…"._

Wow…, so it's been a good three years since Sandy first brought Ryan home and while she thought that he had finally settled down into the family and was feeling safe, she now was confronted with the guarded, insecure young man from the beginning.

"_Ryan…this is as much your house as it is mine or Sandy's or Seth's, you know that. You're a part of this family…I thought you would know that by now."_ She couldn't hide the frustration in her voice.

"_Yeah, I know…it's just…"_ he couldn't finish.

He wasn't sure what to say, because he wasn't sure how he felt.

How could he explain something that he had not the slightest idea about ? He needed time to think.

He sighed _"Kirsten, I'm sorry...but I...I can't explain it to you, right now. My head's all messed up and I don't know what to think…about everything. Sorry"_. He looked at her with pleading eyes.

"_Ok"_ Kirsten stood up and left without another word.

That went well, so much about the "we don't have to talk" part, she thought with a little sarcasm

as she re-entered the kitchen and placed her cup in the sink.

TBC (?)

Please review and tell me if I should continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Titel: Anger leads to pain, pt. 2?

Author: Kukka

Pairing: Ryan/The Cohens

Rating: FRC (G )

Summary: Ryan needs to learn how to deal with his problems… (actually I have no idea were this will lead)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Josh Schwartz..I just like to play with it. But I give it all back once I'm done.

AN: All faults in this are mine and only mine…hope there're not too many.

Thank you to : **marei**, **Dogsbody **and **drkdawn** for your reviews. That means a lot to me.

Chapter 2

When Ryan woke up the next morning, Sandy was already waiting for him in the chair opposite of the bed…great…Kirsten must've had a talk with him.

Whit a sigh Ryan sat up. _"Mornin'"_ he mumbled.

"_Morning, kid. How did you sleep?"_

Oh just great, he thought sarcastically. He didn't get much sleep at all because he spend the night thinking about the conversation he had with Kirsten.

"_Okay. You ?"_ he finally said, looking at Sandy.

"_Not so okay, actually. Kirsten told me about what happened here yesterday evening. Ryan I.." _

Sandy began but was cut short by Ryans frustrated grunt.

He looked at the teenanger who had his eyes now cast to the floor.

"_Ryan I can understand that you don't want to talk about it…I mean…you hardly ever talk but…"_ he sighed _"I really need to know what happened, to upset you this much. I…we don't want you to hurt yourself because of some shit. The next time, you better come to us to talk, okay ? "_

"_Okay. And Sandy ? Don't say shit."_ Ryan said with a smile.

"_Right, don't tell Kirsten I said it."_ Sandy said with a smirk. _"Now come on get ready, breakfast's waiting in the kitchen." _

With that, Sandy got up and left the Poolhouse.

When Ryan came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, he found Seth sitting on his bed.

"_Not you too. Let me guess…more talking about yesterday ?"_

"_Yesterday ? No why, what happened yesterday ?"_ Seth ask curious.

"_Nevermind…so, what do you want to talk about ? Summer ?"_ Ryan tried to change the topic.

"_Hmm…good idea but, no. Just wanted to make sure you're okay. I heard Mom and Dad talking last night…that was eavesdropping actually, but only after I heard your name. Mom seemed upset und since your recent comment about yesterday did not go unnoticed by me, I'm now very curious. Was is it Ryan ? Tell me…please." _Seth was almost whining at the end.

"_Thought you didn't want to talk about that ?"_ Ryan replied, ready to leave the poolhouse. _"Seth…hurry up, I'm starving and we're late for school !" _He added when Seth was just staring at him.

Seth rolled his eyes, got up and followed Ryan into the kitchen, where he almost bumped into him.

"_Ryan, what the...?"_ He started but caught himself just as Kirsten was about to scold him.

He smiled innocently at her, walked around Ryan, who suddenly made a run for the poolhouse,

poured himself some coffee and sat down next to his Dad.

"_Okay…that was weird, he just told me that he's starving and now he fled the kitchen"_ he stated,

looking at his Mom for an explanation. Nothing came.

Instead Kirsten turned around and was once more looking through the window, only to see Ryan returning.

"_Sorry…forgot my backpack. Not a good idea if you have school." _

The kitchen fell silent after Ryan's statement , everyone fully aware that he had carried his backpack with him when he first entered the kitchen.

About half an hour later the boys were on their way to school.

Seth , who was driving, gave Ryan a sideways glace. _"So…your backpack, huh ?"_ he asked.

There was no answer from Ryan so Seth let it slide. He would have his talk with Ryan later.

TBC

Sorry it's so short, I have a hard time writing it atm, because of some problems in RL that keep me occupied but I'll try to update soon.

Please review, Kukka


	3. Chapter 3

Titel: Anger leads to pain, pt. 3?

Author: Kukka

Pairing: Ryan/The Cohens, Summer, Marissa

Rating: FRC (G )

Summary: Ryan needs to learn how to deal with his problems…

(actually I have no idea were this will lead)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Josh Schwartz..I just like to play with it.

But I give it all back once I'm done.

AN: I'm so sorry guys to have let you wait for so long. Hope you're still interested in this story.

It took me forever to start writing this chapter but it's finally done.

Also a BIG **thank you** to everyone who has reviewed so far. I know that I need a proper kick in

the ass every now and then, to continue with something. Sorry again.

AN 2: Remember (if I even mentioned it before) that I'm not a native speaker and I screwed things

up badly today when I was chatting with someone. So there might be little chance that some

lines sound weird in this chapter. For some reason I just can't think straight today. Also it

was about 1 AM for me when I wrote this.

Chapter 3

School flew by very fast that day.

There was a calculus test in third period and a little argument beween a couple of students in the hallway during lunch break but apart from that, nothing of importance.

Ryan's thoughs were somewere else most of the time and he could be glad if he passed the test earlier.

Not that there was much to fail…he knew the stuff they were going through but his concentration was somehow lacking and that was never a good thing.

He met with Seth and the girls at the end of their schoolday and agreed to spend the evening together at the diner or someplace else.

Seth was still going on about how he wanted to make this an 'video games' evening instead, when Summer and Marissa drove off, leaving him staring after the car and Ryan smiling in amusement.

Yes, Seth Cohen could go on about video games forever…totally oblivious to the world around him.

Ryan got into their car at first and before he could even fasten his seatbelt, came the dreaded question from the boy with the curly brown hair.

"_So buddy, care to tell me about the 'forgotten' backpack this morning? Because…Ryan, my friend and not so related brother…that was weird, even for you"._

Great, Ryan thought.

What was he supposed to say ? He had no idea how to get out of this one and the drive home was long…with Seth behind the wheel.

"_Ehm…I…_", god…Atwood think of something, he scolded himself.

"_You?…come on Ry…give me something to work with_", Seth begged.

Ryan gave Seth one of his trademark looks but remained silent for the rest of the way home.

He was well aware that he was killing Seth this way but he didn't care.

He needed time to think of an answer to Seth's question and he knew there would be even more of them, once he got home and faced the 'rents.

Today wasn't over yet and it sure as hell was going to be a long night.

At least the girls didn't know about his 'weird' morning, let alone the previous evening, and therefore were far away from being suspicious and asking him questions that he had no answers too.

Later that evening, when the whole family including Summer and Marissa was gathered around the dining room table, and the tension was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife, it was Seth who spoke first.

"_So…should I mention the elephant in the room or can you all see it?_"

Ryan snorted "_Oh come on, you wouldn't even see the elephant if it stepped you on the foot. Why would you even care? You…_" he trailed off as he noticed Sandy glaring at him.

"_Hey! Stop it…both of you, it's enough !_" He said and his voice left no room for arguments.

"_But Dad, I didn't…_"

"_Seth. I said it's enough. Ryan, could you please help me put the dishes away ?_" with that Sandy stood up and started to collect the used dishes from their dinner.

After a few minutes of stunned silence, Summer dragged Seth and Marissa into the den and asked Seth to set up the playstation.

Kirsten, who had watched the whole scene silently, made her way into the kitchen were she found Sandy standing by the sink and Ryan sitting at the counter, head in his hands as if having a headache.

"_Honey ? Are you okay?_" she asked as she approached him after kissing Sandy on the cheek.

Ryan lifted his head and mumbled a bearly audible "_Sorry_" into her direction.

That little whispered word caught Sandy's attention.

"_What are you sorry for, kiddo?_" he asked, this time in a calm voice because…hell, the boy in front of him looked totally distressed.

"_I'm sorry for freaking on Seth. He didn't do anything and I almost yelled at him for nothing…I…I should go apologize_" having that said, he got up and walked into the den were Seth and Marissa were in the middle of a match and it looked as though Marissa was about to win…much to Summer's amusement.

When the match was over and Seth threw away his joystick in frustration, he was startled to hear Ryan's voice from behind.

"_Seth, can I talk to you for a sec ? Please ?_"

Seth turned around so that he was facing his adoptive brother and nodded.

"_I wanted…I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to be so harsh. Are we cool ?_" he waited for Seth's reaction and was a little anxious that he might didn't see it as relaxed as he himself did…or tried to do.

"_Sure…wanna play ?_" was all Seth said, before he grinned and returned his attention to the screen.

Sandy and Kirsten had followed Ryan to the door and were watching the teens as they seemed to settle back into their routine.

They knew though that something wasn't right.

It might have seemed okay for someone from the outside but something about Ryan was strange.

Sure he did have a temper but it wasn't like him to go off on Seth like this.

Kirsten looked up and searched Sandy's eyes and as they found each other, he whispered "_Tomorrow is another day. Saturday even, that means more time to figure things out. Come on, let's go get some sleep. The kids will be alright for tonight_."

They said their good night's into the room, that was now filled with laughter and Summer's annoyed "_Eww, Cohen!_" and went upstairs, not hoping on any replys.

Yes…the kids would be alright.

TBC


End file.
